Imposter Syndrome has Drastically Affected my Career
Imposter syndrome—the feeling of being an unqualified outsider despite evidence to the contrary—is a double edged sword. On one hand, I can attribute a lot of my success so far to the “fake it till you make it” attitude. Silicon Valley almost requires this mentality.
However, it wasn’t until enough years had passed that I was able to reflect on the arc of my career so far that I realize imposter syndrome has had quite a negative overall effect. Here are some ways it has affected me:
Constantly feeling like I need to prove myself over and over again on the most basic tasks.
Being super hard on myself every time a coworker has a good idea (i.e. ”why didn’t I think of that? I must be a terrible engineer”).
Getting stuck on projects because I interpret even the slightest derailment as a personal failure and a message that I’m too dumb to be doing this.
Seeking out name brand companies to shield myself from any possible doubt about my skills.
Not taking on career growth opportunities until I feel very confident I will succeed.
Impostor Syndrome is Compounding
The single biggest realization I had regarding imposter syndrome is that although single manifestations themselves are harmful, if left unchecked they can compound to become very detrimental.
If a career is like a tree with a bunch of decision points, if at one branch I don’t feel worthy and set my growth expectations lower, it changes my trajectory a bit.
Over the course of several years, I have observed this plays out as a big visible difference in people who continuously advocate for themselves and overcome imposter syndrome versus those who do not.
I think identifying this phenomenon is a good first step. Given I’m currently in a turning point in my career, escaping this negative feedback cycle is currently one of the major things I’m working on.
Things I’ve Been Enjoying
🍑 Plums, peaches, pluots, nectarines
The places where you really grow are the ones that keep kicking you in the teeth.
— Jim Walmsley, American Ultrarunner and Western States 100 3-time winner and course record holder (via)